Clearing the (mental) clutter

When I read Marie Kondo’s book Tidying Up a few years ago, I promptly purged the overwhelming majority of my clothes (some from high school), knick-knacks, expired makeup, mismatched glassware, paper, and other junk that I had collected and stuffed in drawers and closets over the years. To my surprise, I’ve been able to maintain the system by seasonally going through clothes and systematically discarding stuff that I formerly would have held onto for years. I’ve been more conscious of what I let into my house  – I’ll turn down swag at conferences or ditch it in the hotel room; I donate or share books after reading them; I’m more discerning in the fitting room.

Even amidst a rough 2018 of homeowner problems, my house looked pretty tidy, but my mind still felt cluttered. Throughout much of the last year, I felt scattered, exhausted, and just generally unwell. For years, I had neglected the Health category on my Life Olympics and I was feeling it. I committed to finally making my mental and physical health a priority for 2019… and that was going to require setting some boundaries.

One month into 2019 it is not an exaggeration to say that I feel like a different person. I feel clear-headed, healthy, and full of energy. Perhaps most importantly, I have indeed reignited a feeling of deep joy after removing some mental and emotional clutter. Here are some things I put in place this month to declutter my mind and body:

  • A bedtime routine: Far too often last year, I found myself compiling spreadsheets and compulsively sending emails until the minute I went to bed. Shocking, then, that I wasn’t sleeping well. Technically, I was in bed for 7-8 hours a night, but I was maybe getting 3-4 hours of actual sleep. I woke up feeling groggy and lethargic every morning. I implemented the following routine and I stuck to it for all but 2-3 nights for the month of January when I made exceptions to stay out with friends:
    • 9:00-9:30 – wind down work-mode. I finalized emails and messages; brain-dumped to-do lists, and settled my work devices into their charging stations for the night.
    • 9:30-10 – 30 minutes of yoga. I started the Commit30 planner this year and my January goal was at least 30 minutes of yoga every day. Even with a month of nearly 20 days of travel (my usual excuse for slacking on exercise), I got it in all but two days, which I made up with doubles. I can’t overstate what this does for my mental and physical health.
    • 10-10:15 – get ready for bed and do my new skincare regimen because I see those lines creeping on my face and I am not ready to age gracefully.
    • 10:15-10:45 – light some candles and read for 30 minutes.
    • 10:45-11 – listen to the Daily Calm meditation while I fall asleep.

I actually started waking up before my alarm and not feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck all the time! I also have energy to spare for fun activities on evenings and weekends.

  • Taking control of my calendar: An undeniably important part of my job is taking meetings – with current and potential customers, partners, employees, and investors. It’s a LOT of meetings. And for years I have felt like I should make myself available to all of these people, anytime, anywhere. This often resulted in a calendar that consistently looked like a game-over screen of Tetris. I had meetings all day with 30-45 minutes between them, leaving me no time for deep-focus work (cue late night spreadsheets and such). I sat down and blocked out an ideal weekly calendar with strategic periods of time for 30- or 60-minute meetings and 2-3-hour chunks for focused work. I created appointment slots using Calendly and now use that to schedule meetings. I have occasionally made exceptions for conference schedules and such, but overall my schedule feels more manageable. In addition to carving out more time for strategic work, I also feel more clear-headed and attentive for each meeting that I do schedule.

None of these things is particularly drastic but the cumulative effect has been amazing. So why have these minor schedule improvements felt so impossibly out of reach for me for years? My big transformational life changes involve taking two hours a day of personal time and setting some modest parameters on scheduling?

what like it's hard.gif

But it was, in fact, really hard to make these adjustments. At times, it was nauseatingly difficult for me to say no. I take a lot of pride in being available to my team and partners. There is also a lot of social pressure for entrepreneurs to appear indefatigable and I’m not immune to it. The media hype around the “hustle and grind” image makes it easy to feel like needing time to relax and unwind is a weakness – and there is even more pressure for female CEOs to feel like they can keep up.

I realized that my unwillingness to draw boundaries was rooted in fear. It sounds silly, but when I reflected on it, I realized that saying no/turning off prompted feelings of fear that people would think I was lazy or ungrateful or maybe not worth their time anyway. I am a big believer in the notion that speaking your fears takes away their power. Do I really think this partner won’t ever work with me if I tell them I can’t meet tomorrow? Do I really think a teammate will feel demoralized if I tell them I can’t meet until Thursday? Do I really think people will deem me lazy if I respond at 9am instead of 9pm? Probably not! I’m not totally cured of this insecurity/anxiety. I still feel it, but I’m working on recognizing it for what it is and literally asking myself these questions.

I’m only a month into the year, so I’m not yet ready to award myself the Gold in the 2019 Life Olympics, but this is honestly the longest streak of healthy behavior that I’ve been able to maintain since starting the company, so I’m taking a moment to celebrate. Cheers!



What Educators Could Learn From Bikram Yoga

Savasana, from the Sanskrit word for corpse. Dead body pose. Total relaxation.

I struggle. Stillness of body is no problem – I’m paralyzed with exhaustion. Stillness of mind poses a greater challenge. Be still, be still, be still, be – ah: clairvoyance.

My yogic epiphany: education should be a little more like Bikram yoga class, and a little less like… school.

1. Depth v. Breadth:

Bikram Yoga is distinguished by a unique series of 26 postures. Every Bikram class, anywhere in the world, consists of the same 26 postures, in the same order, for the same amount of time.  You might think this sounds like a lousy workout, but it’s a grueling 90 minute routine that works every muscle, tendon and ligament for a total body experience. Since every class is the same, students focus on mastering the posture, rather than worrying about the routine. Of course, you may be lost the first few classes, but after awhile, you begin to anticipate exactly what’s coming next, which means you can concentrate all of your mental energy on actually practicing the posture, rather than spending any amount of time figuring out what’s going on.

Far too often in education, we prioritize quantity over quality. Bikram Choudhury, the founder of the Bikram series, carefully selected the 26 most essential postures on which to focus his practice. Of course, there are hundreds of yoga poses, but perhaps Bikram recognized that trying navigate an infinite number of yogic series might not be ideal for mastering any one of them.  Instead, every Bikram student works diligently to master just 26. As a result, all mental and bodily energy is free to focus on technique, rather than content and procedure.
Currently, the state curriculum mandates teaching something like 180 content-based standards in as many school days.  With approximately one day allotted to learn each new thing, students and teachers alike are constantly scrambling to juggle new content. This is akin to taking a yoga class with an entirely new series of new postures every day. How could a yogi ever hope to truly master even one of those postures?
Imagine if educators took the Bikram approach, concentrating on just 26 skills all year – perhaps even for the duration of the K-12 education. Students would be cautious at first, but after a month, 6 months, or 5 years spent working on those same skills, they would have a real shot at true understanding.  This concept of depth over breadth is the driving force behind the Common Core Curriculum: building on a core set of skills from K-12 grades with gentle scaffolding from one grade to the next.  I sincerely hope teachers adopt the spirit of less is more with the introduction of this new curriculum, and leave behind the days of whirlwind 180 day tours of content-based standards.
2. Come as You Are:
There are no leveled classes in Bikram Yoga. No grades. No basic, general, advanced classes. You might go to national training and be elevated to certified instructor status, but that’s the only official differentiator between a rookie and a master. In any given class, you will find students testing the Bikram waters on their very first day standing alongside yogis who have been practicing for upwards of a decade. Since everyone is working on the same skill set, it simply doesn’t matter where you are on your yogic journey. Everyone participates in the class at their own pace. If it’s your first day and you want to sit down on your mat and watch, fine. If you’ve been coming every day for a year and you really want to perfect your standing-bow-pulling pose today, fine.
Come as you are. Try your best.
3. Personal Mastery:

Since every student arrives to class at a different point on their journey, success or mastery is necessarily unique for each student each day. Let’s take standing-head-to-knee pose for example.

Let’s say Student 1 is on her second Bikram yoga class ever.  She comes to the first step of the posture (pictured below) and holds it there for the duration of the minute-long pose. It’s a challenge for her and she struggles, focusing hard to keep her planted knee locked.

Student 2 has been practicing for several months now, and today is the day he strives to push his other leg out at a 90 degree angle and holds it there. He falls out of the posture about 20 seconds into it, but tries again.

Student 3 has been working on this pose for upwards of a year, can steadily hold her leg at 90 degrees, and is finally ready to tuck her chin for the final step of the pose:

Should we say Student 1 failed for only completing step one of the posture? Should we say Student 2 failed for attempting step two and falling out of it? Of course not. Each student pushed him or herself as far as he or she was capable of going that day. Each of them pushed further out of a personal comfort zone into a new level of mastery. They each demonstrate personal growth and achievement.

Unfortunately, this is not how our nation currently measures student achievement. If a 6th grade class contains readers ranging from a 1st grade reading level to a 9th grade reading level, they are all expected to finish the year on at least a 6th grade reading level. There is no award for a student’s growth from a 1st grade reading level to a 4th grade reading level, nor is there any disincentive for failing to grow the high-achieving student at the 9th grade level.

Expecting all students to learn and grow at the same pace is not only unreasonable given what we know about cognitive capacity, it’s also deeply unfair to teachers and students alike. If my yoga instructor was being evaluated on his students’ ability to reach step three of standing-head-to-knee, he would probably start looking to teach in a community with a high population of dancers and gymnasts, who have been touching their noses to their foreheads since they were 2 years old.

For exactly the same reason, there exists a routine exodus of teachers from urban centers to affluent counties where children have been exposed to, on average, 60 percent more vocabulary words than their urban peers by age 4.

4. Lifelong Learning

When did we decide to grade expertise and mastery of knowledge and skills on a 100 percent scale?

A finite scale of learning is grossly antithetical to Deweyan education ideals of lifelong, interactive learning. Scoring 100 percent on anything suggests that you are done: there is no higher level of knowledge to be attained.

In yoga, there are no percentages. The converse holds true as well – in a world with no perfect scores, there are no failures, either. In fact, there’s a lovely mantra one of my instructors is fond of repeating: “You don’t do yoga, you try yoga.” What if we taught our students that learning isn’t about scores or correct answers, but rather, trying, striving for some new level of knowledge, skill, or solution every day.
I do not get a report card in Bikram Yoga. It’s tortuously difficult, I’m awarded no grade to indicate my progress, and I earn no certificate of achievement. By Jove, how will I know if I have improved? Why bother learning at all if there’s no standard metric by which to gauge my progress and achievement?
Theoretically, if a skill cannot be mastered, one could spend a lifetime in pursuit of that unreachable mastery. Precisely. (There’s a reason, after all, that America’s founding fathers had the good sense to grant us the right to the pursuit of happiness: some things are best left unattained.)
Shouldn’t that be the great aim and end of education? To love learning and desire to continue learning? Grades, scores, certificates, and diplomas suggest that there are finite measures of educational attainment, but ideally, teachers would do well to instill in their students a passion for a lifelong pursuit.
5. Teacher as Facilitator 
Teacher modeling is noticeably absent from a Bikram class. It’s a method so unfamiliar to our traditional idea of teaching that the instructor explains his role at the beginning of each class. “I will not be doing any of the poses with you. You’ve got great examples all around you.”

The beauty of the teacher-as-facilitator is two-fold. Firstly, it sets a precedent of camaraderie and collaboration. Gone are the days of folder-tents, cloistering students in isolated carrels. Don’t understand? Look to your neighbor. Learn from him. It’s okay: it’s not cheating. Secondly, since the instructor isn’t occupying his physical and mental energy trying to morph himself into a Japanese ham sandwich, he’s completely free to walk the room observing students and offering positive reinforcement, encouragement, and support.

In the information age, many teachers are rightly moving away from direct instruction models that position teachers as the sole arbiters of information. With increased instantaneous access to information, the purpose of school is shifting away from memorizing finite amounts of knowledge and beginning to focus more on the skills of finding, analyzing, manipulating, and creating content. With the new function of education, so to should develop a new function of teachers as guides and facilitators on the educational journey, rather than solitary gatekeepers of knowledge.

6. Holistic Evaluation

Last week I had a terrible Bikram class. I was recovering from a head cold that wreaked havoc on my equilibrium and hadn’t drunk enough water or eaten enough that day. After about 20 minutes, I was just about down for the count. I sat on my mat, suppressing waves of nausea and vertigo. Once, the instructor mouthed, “Are you ok?” because he knew it was unusual behavior for me.  I told him I wasn’t feeling well, and that was it. He trusted me to make the decisions about my body and my practice. The next day, I made sure to drink and eat enough before class and, determined to make up for the previous day, had one of my best classes ever.

What if there was standardized Bikram Evaluation? What if one day per year, the offical Bikram Evaluation Board stopped into classes all over the nation, assigned a seemingly arbitrary numeric score to everyone’s yogic practice, and that number defined all future yogic endeavors? If the Evaluators had stopped in on the day I was feeling ill, I surely would have received an unsatisfactory score. If they stopped in the following day, I would probably be deemed an above average yogini. In reality, neither of those days would provide a true measure of my overall practice. The only people who could give an accurate analysis of my practice and progress as a student of Bikram yoga would be the instructors, who have closely watched me practice and progress over the course of a year – but the Evaluators do not ask them, because they would be biased.

Once a year snapshots of achievement are insufficient metrics of learning, but again, this is exactly how we treat American students in K-12 education. As humans, we naturally have good days and bad days, which may be influenced by any number of factors. As anyone who has ever taken an important test can tell you, performance may be affected by what you did or did not eat, how much sleep you got the night before, your personal comfort, stress, hormones, emotions, or any number of life-changing events, like the death of a loved one or parents’ divorce.  Given all these variables on the human mind and body, how can we expect to capture a true understanding of student progress and achievement with just a solitary snapshot once a year?

7. Teacher Collaboration
I once heard my instructor Julian say, “Hm, I’m not sure, let’s talk to Eddie and see if he has any advice for you.” What a superb approach to teaching. The messages conveyed to the students here are that the teachers are true colleagues, working together for a common goal, and that they continue to learn from each other. I frequently hear my instructors mention a tip or word of advice they picked up from another instructor. It’s congenial, not competitive, and the students and teachers both benefit from this spirit of collaboration. In addition to chatting in between classes, the instructors even take classes from each other, further conveying the message that we are all still learning together.

Whether due to scheduling, competition, or culture, I rarely see this level of collaboration between teachers at a school level. I see it more on Twitter than anywhere, but our students are, for the most part, deprived of witnessing this kind of esprit de corps, which is a real shame. As educators, we should strive to model our own pursuit of learning, especially in a collaborative effort with our colleagues. Another unfortunate consequence of the emphasis on evaluations and scoring is that many teachers have become afraid to speak up about their weaknesses. Lest there be a punitive check or note against them on the increasingly important evaluation score sheet, most teachers have bowed their heads into terrified silence. Admission of weakness opens a teacher up to scrutiny of her practice, which may indeed lead to punitive evaluations. Better to keep quiet and focus on what one does well.  This culture of fear surrounding personal and professional development could not be further from the open, honest, collaborative professional learning communities teachers should be modeling for students and each other.

8. Come Back Again Tomorrow
“Great class! Come back tomorrow!” That’s what Julian, Eddie, Allison, and all of the instructors say to me after every class – whether I agree with them or not. Whether I had the sort of day when I had to spend 20 minute stretches sprawled on my mat or the sort of day when I held that standing-bow-pulling-pose until the last darn second, their response is the same. They trust that I have given it my all. I did the best I could today, and for that: good job! On the sort of days when I feel like I have not lived up to my yogic standards, I remind myself of Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk on genius:

Don’t be daunted. Just do your job. Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment through your efforts, then ‘Ole!’ And if not, do your dance anyhow. And ‘Ole!’ to you, nonetheless. I believe this and I feel that we must teach it. ‘Ole!’ to you, nonetheless, just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up.

Ole! indeed. Sometimes, I forget to give my students their due credit for having the stubbornness to keep showing up. Some of them spend hours each way on poorly scheduled buses, standing in the cold, wind, or rain for stretches of time between lines. Some of them are battling emotional and physical scars from abuse, poverty, or any number of attacks on their fragile bodies and psyches. As teachers, we would do well to remember to accentuate the positive, as the old song goes, which does not mean ignoring mistakes or room for improvement. Focusing on the positive does not preclude my instructors from correcting deficiencies or mistakes in my practice. A little positive praise can go a long way.

So, the next time your student has the kind of day when she just can’t bear to pick up her head off the desk because someone made fun of her hair or she failed a math test or has a headache, remind her: “Hey – Ole! to you, nonetheless. Try again tomorrow.” And, no doubt, she will.